


Fight the Power

by Goodluckdetective (scorpiontales)



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: F/M, Humor, Mild Sexual Content, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-16
Updated: 2015-09-16
Packaged: 2018-04-21 01:16:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4809353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scorpiontales/pseuds/Goodluckdetective
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Grif has had enough excessive noise from Sarge’s room. It’s time for a coup. </p><p>If only Grif had thought this one through.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fight the Power

**Author's Note:**

  * For [RenaRoo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RenaRoo/gifts).



> I'm so sorry everyone, I have the humor of a 7 year old.

Sarge was fighting his wall again.

It was the only logical explanation, Grif thought, as he heard something ram into the side of his room. There was no other way he could be hearing all this noise otherwise. It wasn’t exactly surprising; Sarge tended to spar with anything he could find. Grif could remember him fighting the warthog, another wall, and a concrete block on one occasion. Usually Grif didn’t mind, it was fun watching Sarge get into fights he couldn’t win, but he liked his sleep.

It was seven in the morning. Sarge hit the wall again. And Grif decided he’d had enough.

“That’s it,” he said, getting out of bed, throwing off the sheets as he did so. Simmons, who was reading in his own bunk, peered over the top of his book. 

“Wow, you’re getting up before ten. Are they serving oreo pancakes in the cafeteria again?” 

“Shut up,” Grif said, reaching for his shoes and pulling them on. He didn’t take a moment to bother putting on socks. There was another thump against the wall. “I’ve had enough of Sarge’s stupid noise. They’re interfering with my beauty rest.”

“You’ve been awake for less than twenty minutes,” Simmons said, voice dry. Grif didn’t notice, too tired to really spend time sniping at his roommate. Instead, he grabbed his gauntlets, he might have to do some punching, and slid them on. 

“That’s twenty minutes too long.” Satisfied with how his gauntlets fit, he walked over to Simmons and yanked his book away. The book went clattering to the floor and before Simmons could protest, Grif was hauling him out of bed as well with a sharp yank. It took some extra strength, Simmons’ robot bits were heavy, but he managed to get Simmons on his feet. “And you’re coming with me.”

“I think you’ve mistaken me for someone who cares,” Simmons said but Grif didn’t miss the twitch in his human eye as there was another thump against the wall. It must have been some punch because Sarge’s resulting grump could be heard through the layer on concrete. Grif put both of his hands on Simmons shoulders and shook him.

“You telling me that isn’t driving you nuts?” Simmons silence was enough of an answer for Grif. “Look, we’re Captains now! War heroes! We don’t have to put up with this bullshit!”

“I don’t-”

There was another thump. Simmons’ gaze turned towards the door. Grif had him. 

“Let’s do it.”

It didn’t take long for Simmons to get ready either and soon enough, they were out the door, headed straight for Sarge’s room. It wasn’t a long walk, hell, it was less than five minutes, and by the time they made it to the door, Grif was still ready for a fight. He knocked on the door once.

“Sarge! Cut the racket! Some of us are trying to sleep here!”

Grif expected a retort. An angry insult hurled his way. Another mention of his sleeping habits. So he was rather jarred when Sarge only yelled two words back, both rather strained.

“Not now!”

Grif’s eyes narrowed. He knocked again, this time playing with the doorknob. It was locked. “Sarge! I’m serious. Shut the fuck up!”

Sarge didn’t answer and there was another thump against the wall. Grif tried the doorknob again. The lock was a little loose and Grif had a good feeling that if he made a run at it, it’d come crashing open.

“Sir.” Simmons was giving it a go now, his knock a little more polite. “You can’t really be making such a racket. This is a public area and-”

“Oh fuck it,” Grif said, taking a step back. He’d had it. Sarge was going down. He angled his shoulder towards the doorway and prepared himself to launch himself at it.

“Oh hey guys.” Donut’s drawl was recognizable even with sleep lacing it. “What you doing?”

“Givin Sarge a piece of our minds. He’s been making a racket and we’re gonna break in to tell him what’s what,” Grif said. “Wanna help?”

Donut clapped his hands together. “Depends on-” There was another thump and a groan from the room. Out of the corner of his eye, Grif saw Donut stiffen. “Wait. What do you guys think he’s doing in there?”

“Fighting the wall or one of his dummies,” Simmons said. Grif placed his weight on his back leg and got ready to spring. There was another thump. “Why you ask?”

“Because I don’t think- Grif don’t!” It was too late. Grif was running at the door, his shoulder connecting with the center of the board. The door flew open and Grif found himself falling to the floor from the impact. There was a loud shriek from behind him(Donut), then a stuttering noise (Simmons) and Grif heard Sarge grumble somewhere above him. He looked up satisfied, his retort on his lips- 

Only to be met by Sarge’s bare ass.

Grif’s brain went offline. Reboted. Crashed once more when it took in the tramp stamp that said “Lois.” Booted up again. Noticed Grey staring at him over Sarge’s shoulder, not wearing clothes and oh, God, his brain was going to fry from this, his circuits were gonna spark and he wasn’t even part robot like Simmons.

He’d walked in on Sarge. Having sex. Wall sex. With Doctor Grey. Like right now. 

“Grif,” Sarge wasn’t looking at him, but Grif could tell his eyes were closed. He didn’t look embarrassed, just long suffering. “Why are you lying on my floor when I’m trying to pleasure a lady?”

“Captain Grif.” Grey looked to be holding back laughter. She waved at them over Sarge’s shoulder. “Captain Simmons. Captain Donut.”

Simmons squeaked again. Donut however seemed to recover himself and Grif could hear him take a step backwards. 

“Nice form for a guy your age, Sir,” Donut said. “Now I’m going to go and get blackout drunk. See you all later.” The rapid footsteps Grif could hear were likely the sound of Donut booking it. Soon enough, Grif heard Simmons speak up too. 

“What he said. I mean, the second part. Not the first. Not that-” And there was the sound of Simmons scurrying. Grif hoped he didn’t take everything from their hidden liquor stash; he would need that shit later. All of it. Or maybe just death. A man couldn’t see horrors like this and live.

“Grif,” Sarge growled. Grif looked at him on instinct then turned away once more, squeezing his eyes shut. Why didn’t brain bleach exist? “Here is what is going to happen. Ms. Grey here has had a rough day. I’m trying to help with that. So you’re going to get up. Leave this room. Shut the door. And goddamn leave.”

Grif’s brain was still in safe mode. Autopilot.  Fight or flight. And since it involved Sarge, his brain settled onto fight.. So when he spoke next, it was without thinking. He looked at Sarge’s face.

“And if I don’t?”

Sarge glared at him. Narrowed his eyes. And in one movement jerked his hips forward and oh dear Lord, Doctor Grey should not not be capable of a moan that loud.

Grif’s brain went into flight mode. He scrambled off the floor, ran towards the door and slammed it behind him. 

Later that day, when Wash walked into Grif and Simmons room to find all the human members of Red team drunk off their asses, he decided better than to ask.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [would you pin me to a wall](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4815686) by [ephemeraltea (temporarily_obsessed)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/temporarily_obsessed/pseuds/ephemeraltea)




End file.
